Mr.Blacks Chocolate Frog card from Make A Wish by Rorscharchblot which can be found in the Harry Potter section of Fanfiction.net
One of the funniest fics I have ever read.
The full text of the card is here:
International Man of Mystery
Age: Unknown, Let's just say that Pompei wouldn't have been the same without him (2,000+)
Famous Quotes (Tap wand to listen, double tap to change language):
"The name is Black, Mister Black"
"I'm just a guy on vacation"
"Really? Did something happen?"
Mr.Black:" 'This puts the Death Eaters in a proper state of mind'
Random Auror: 'Proper state of mind?'
Mr.Black:'Spread across the wall...' "
"I think the minister is an idiot"
"Take me to the Blut Hexe"
Mr.Black: "Are you a member of a group that believes in pure blood nonsense?
Blood Purist: Yes I am
Mr.Black: Did you kill a young girl and her family to prevent her from getting a magical education?
Blood Purist: 'You a cop? You trying to get me to confess?
Mr.Black: No, I just wanted to make sure I got the right people, Reducto."
"Front Desk? This is Black, I think there might be something wrong with the drink machine down the hall from my room. I heard it make a terrible sound after I got my drinks."
Current Kills by Mr.Black: 94,532 (updated every 5 minutes)
Current Injuries as a result of annoying him: 940,237 (updated every 30 seconds)
Current Cost of Damages as a result of his work (tap wand to change currency): 320,000,000 Galleons 10 Sickles and 49 Knuts (updated ever 15 minutes)
Number of Lawsuits against Chocolate Frogs Inc. for damages from people who tried to get a photograph of Mr.Black: 367 (Updated daily)
Satiated entire conlave of Veela
The most dangerous man in the world, and and the man who rivals Dumbledore for the title of Greatest Wizard of all time. However, surprisingly little is known about him.
He first surfaced during the summer of 199X in Amsterdam, Holland. According to reports, Mr.Black was enjoying lunch at a local resteraunt when four Death Eaters appeared and began searching for Harry Potter. Annoyed at having his lunch interupted, he defeated them before they had a chance to cast a single spell. He then had the Staatstovenaars remove a tracking charm from himself, one that he had presumably transfered from the Boy-Who-Lived to himself.
Worried that he might be attacked again, the Staatstovenaar assigned several disguised agents to protect him, he spotted every single one including those under invisibilty cloaks, and was heard to mutter to himself that he was being followed by "Amatures". While in Holland, he presented the first photgraphic evidence of the existence of the elusive Crumple Horned Snorkack. For his efforts in Sweden, he was inducted into the Orde Van De Leeuw (Order of the Lion), an honor that he attempted to turn down (Probably because he was one of the founders of the order). In Paris Mr.Black eliminated a serial killer who was using the old resistance alleys from the Second World War to kill wizards and demonstrated an ability for wandless magic. He was able to track down the killer due to his intimate knowledge of the alleys which he used extensivly during the war. During his stay in Italy, he examined the new wards surrounding the Vatican, where he revealed an intimate knowledge with their creation and his advanced mage sight ability. In Germany, the murder of a young muggleborn girl triggered what would be known as the "Black Massacre" that virtually wiped out Germany's entire Blood Purist population. On his way to Vienna, he arranged the deaths of several death eaters on a muggle railroad, and during his stay in the city he killed the Lestranges. In Hungary he was responsible for saving the Hungarian Horntail from extinction and uncovered a plot by Lord Voldemort involving a Death Eater polyjuiced as a Playwizard centerfold. In his spare time he enjoys traveling, seducing the opposite sex, and of course killing people.
Member of the National Spell Association in America and inspiration
for their popular T-Shirt Slogan, Spells don't kill People, Mr. Black
Order of the Lion
Partner of Professor Fergus Farnseworth, long believed to be the most eccentric
scientist in Western Europe, and tester of his more violent works.
World class ladies man
Winner of the 199X Swedish Broom Race from Kopparberg to Arjeplog
Mr. Black, the man who bankrupted the Wizarding gambling center of
Europe in a single night of betting.
Discovered the largest cache of Occult and magical treasures in
history left behind by Nazis working with Grinderwald.
Provided photographic evidence of the existence of the
Negociated Truce between Vampires and Werewolves
Co-inventor of the Portable Floo
Saved the Hungarian Hornetail from extinction
Killed Blood Purist population in Germany (For details of the Black Massacre, Tap wand Here)
Worked with Nicholas Flamel on the Sorcerers stone.
Killed the Lestranges
Killed too many others to name (for complete list, tap wand Here)
Broke up cheating ring in Monte Carlo
Over 2,000 years old
Took part in numerous historical events (for complete list, tap wand Here)